Hey mum – i didn’t cry!

Hiya all,

Todays new video see’s me shooting in my new indoor studio space 🙂 And in the video i share a personal story about how our children mirror aspects of ourself to us giving us the chance to heal, to grow and to share that growth back to our children.

 


Got a question? Post it below and i’ll get back to you?

Have you noticed a trait emerge within your child that is something you have either tried to suppress within yourself or that mirrors a behaviour or habit that you have that you don’t feel is healthy? – What was it?

 

Motherhood as a spiritual journey.

Wow the weather is crazy here tonight. In the space of fortnight or so we have gone from sweeping fires through the state to extensive flooding and cyclones,  so a typical Australian summer. Tonight it’s wild winds and heavy rain. It’s forecast to last for the week which means the frogs will actually take up residence in the constant huge puddles outside the front door. Calling and mating and leaving tadpoles in our driveway, definitely one of the perks, we like frogs.  What will be more challenging will be helping a 4 year old boy use up his current huge reserves of physical energy. 🙂

So what is tonight’s musing about?…

Motherhood as a spiritual journey.

It will be a huge life journey regardless but I believe it offers you access to a huge deep pool within yourself to explore, to heal, to set free and to embrace, to nurture, to amplify and to master. The unique relationship that is the mother-child journey offers us huge range and depth of experiences.  It is profound, and so beautiful in its richness and depth.

And what about what we model for our children, what gifts and life skills do we pass on?  We will inevitably pass on unconscious legacies both good and not so good for none of us is perfect, but which ones will we choose to actively and consciously pass on? One of the most powerful ways children learn is through modelling, they learn through observation, they also naturally mimic and emulate as a way of trying on the world and experiences of it. What do we choose consciously to show to them?

And what of the amazing gift of consciousness, presence and Inner Peace a spiritual practice brings, allowing you to truly access the deepest joys of motherhood.  And what of the side benefits of creating strong amazing relationships, partnerships, bringing ease and joy and natural flow and extension to parenting.

Ultimately I believe we owe it to our children to be the best mothers we can be and that includes embracing the conscious self aware path to help lead us there.

Women, through crossing the threshold into motherhood, when agreeing to the job, agree to nurture, support, grow and guide the next generation of the planet! This is no small thing, and while society may have forgotten that perspective, the universe hasn’t. Everything is balanced, so for great service also comes returning gifts.  For taking up such a responsibility, such a sacred duty.

There are so many gifts that it would take my lifetime to write about them all, so many little moments in the days, and more overarching experiences, so many shifts within who we are as a direct result. But one of these gifts is also the gift of the potential for huge personal growth, which then in turn, returns us as better mothers, better able to serve, consistently and deeply yet sustainably, with grounded calm but also with a sense of joy and fun. Gifts for ourselves and gifts for our children.

Why would we not explore this potential, this personal growth through the lens of motherhood, motherhood is not something that goes away, once initiated we are mothers forever, a part of us, and who we are. It will touch every part of us and our lives, and weigh in on every life choice we make.

It is one of the strongest, most obvious, and advantageous areas in our lives to have a spiritual contemplation and practice, consciousness, mindfulness, willingness to look inwards and take the journeys presented to us to grow. It is part of our act of service but also a perfectly divinely reciprocated gift to us as well.

Much love to you on this deeply raining summer evening. xx

Parenting choices and family gatherings

 

This week on Sacred Connections we’re talking about things that often come up around this time of year and the big one for many attachment parenting or conscious parenting families is family gatherings. How can we navigate them so they aren’t a stressful, so we don’t feel undermined in our parenting choices, so our children are respected and so we can hopefully create a peaceful day.

I hope that this brings news ideas and new perspectives and allows you all a more enjoyable Christmas gathering.

Much love

 

 

What do you tell your children about Santa?

Welcome back!

In this week’s episode i talk about the Santa debate! Do you tell your children is real or made up and how did that play out for us in our family.

As always this is 5min video – short and sweet so check it out!

If it’s not displaying below  for you, you can check it out here on youtube – Conscious parenting and Santa: What do you tell your children about Santa?

And the question for this week? – How does Christmas work in your family (if  you celebrate it).

Staying inspired in motherhood – tips for making attachment parenting sustainable and easy.

This week’s  short little tree house video covers Inspiration!

How does inspiration effect us in our parenting? How does it effect us overall, Why is it important to keep some little part of you that inspires you in your life and how to do it with little ones in tow.

You can view it below or on Youtube here : Staying inspired in motherhood – tips for making attachment parenting sustainable and easy.

And today’s question- What have you let go of to be the mother  you want to be, that you want to bring back into your life? – post a comment below 🙂

 

Enjoy!!


Christmas presents, what do you do?

The days are getting longer and warmer. The urges to slow down, to cut loose and move into the total freedom of free ranging days of summer is growing in me. If you know me you may find that kinda odd seeing as we lead a life overflowing with freedom by most peoples standards :).  Perhaps its a hang over from my youth, school holidays, long evening plays with friends in the pool, and of course Christmas.

I know many families who don’t celebrate Christmas and i honor their wishes and traditions. We however do celebrate Christmas, though for me i do admit Summer Solstice on the 22nd holds more meaning and spirituality for me and i have introduced those traditions to my children as well. But my children love Christmas, its not about the presents, its about family, special food, christmas lights, Christmas carols, the Christmas tree, advent calendars and the myrid of traditions that typically accompany the holiday – the presents are a fun addition. For me though Christmas is more about the energy of that time of year which attracts me, the magic and joy, the excitement that bubbles within the younger ones, the heart felt connection with those we love.

There are countless ideas out there for how to approach Christmas presents, from home made, to local, to different formula’s like:

“Something they want
Something they need
Something they wear
Something they read”

In my family we are currently (for the last couple years) approaching it around relationships. For me that is what it is about, a chance to show someone you love them, appreciate them and understand their unique loves. It is about creating joy. It is about what makes each person feel special and understood. That is not to say that we don’t do this everyday in some way, it’s more like an amplification of one of our most important family values. Instead of worrying about how many presents is too much, and how to make it even , which was the approach my parents took, or what the children need (that we think), or what would be an appropriate gift to foster learning, we decided to instead have each member of the family give each other member of the family a present that they choose to give them (within our budgetary allowance for the year). It is totally about from one person to the other with the intention of bring joy to that relationship. This means my daughter chooses something she knows or thinks her brother will really love, he does the same for her, etc. This means each of gives 3 presents and the 4th present everyone is given a sum of money to buy themselves a present!  We also have a small present from Santa that is something unusual that they wouldn’t have thought of but will hopefully find joy in. I will add here that both my children know Santa is pretend, they have known since they first  became aware of Christmas stories, they know the origins of the story, why people tell the story (including the marketing implications) etc but they have both chosen to enjoy playing the christmas game.

Some of the best presents have been around “doing something” for the other person rather than “buying something  and i think i would like to expand that tradition this year. For example my husband buying me a new set of guitar strings -and stringing my guitar (which i don’t actually know how to do!) is probably the best present i could think of him giving me this year :). This doing rather than buying feels more real, more meaningful in terms of expressing love and connection, in building relationship and in celebrating each other. Giving of our time to further another person’s wellbeing or joy feels more special than giving them our money.

Regardless of how you choose to do Christmas i invite you to take a bit time this year before you brave the shops and think about what you want this holiday to mean , what you want it to be about for your family and what traditions you can put in place to support that.

Much love,

 

Following your heart, how do you hear your heart voice?

It all starts at the centre. It all starts with the heart, – and it ends with the heart.

Nearly a decade ago I walked through the long sterile corridors thinking it was rather ironic after such a beautiful homebirth just weeks earlier that my daughter and i were now here. We’d come to see a lactation consultant at the local maternity ward to help us get our breastfeeding “sorted” seeing we were struggling with attachment problems and a myriad of associated symptoms. I felt anxious and desperately worried that breastfeeding was not working out. I had already cried buckets of tears most feeds from a mixture of emotions, postpartum hormones and physical pain but i was stubborn, adamant and willing to do what it took, and go where i needed to go to get this sorted and ensure my daughter was thriving.

I remember thinking how small, vulnerable and anonymous i felt as i entered the visitor’s lounge where i had been asked to go and wait. My stomach tense and churning as i put my sleeping daughters carry capsule beside me on a couch and sat , assuring myself that i would get the help we needed and i’d walk out of here a successful breastfeeding mother.
I looked around the waiting room, people watching really, interested in how other mother’s were going about this life transition. To my left was a fairly large multi generational group of extended family obviously here visiting. They were really a fairly stereotypical looking australian family from grandmother to sibling dressed for the Australian summer in shorts, thongs, and t-shirts all milling around chatting and generally biding their time. I turned back to see the lactation consultant entering the lounge with efficiency and a clipboard.

After a rather quick official introduction she handed me the clipboard containing “the paperwork” and then started quizzing me on our situation. I felt myself growing smaller and less confident as the conversation continued. I didn’t want to supplement, she told me i would need to. My daughter woke and i immediately turned and picked her up, to which she responded with a disapproving look and a comment about how unnecessary and counter productive to self soothing it was to keep picking my baby up every time she made a noise, and so it continued till she announce it was time to take a look at us feeding and went to find an empty room for the rest of the consultation leaving me feeling tense, incompetent and close to tears.

As i sat there cooing at my daughter and soothing her (and myself) i felt someone approaching, looking up i looked straight into the face of the grandmother from the group i’d watched earlier. Her face appropriately tanned and strewn with wrinkles and lines but it was her eyes that drew me, a warm brown that held a smile of camaraderie. She put her hand on my shoulder and lent slightly to look at my daughter, and smile down at her, an acknowledgement and simple interaction that the lactation consultant hadn’t done once in the 15mins prior. Then she looked at me and she said “Always follow your heart dear, it will never lead you astray”. and with that she returned to her family and they all departed.

I didn’t learn how to become a successful breastfeeding mother that day (that came a week later thanks to a beautiful ABA councillor) but i did receive probably the best piece of parenting advice i have ever received. It resonated strongly with my instincts and i took it on board and allowed it to shape my journey through motherhood ever since.

Mothers today are often bombarded with a massive amount of information, all advising them how to raise their children, the “right” way and often there are numerous contradictory sources. Even strangers on the street seem to think its ok to give you advice and more often than not tell you how you are doing it wrong.

So many women in our current culture are encouraged to dismiss and ignore their instincts and their heart voice. They are asked to defer to sources of information outside of themselves and often to actually go against what their hearts are calling them to do. Outside information is valuable, it exposes us to new concepts, new approaches, solutions to current issues, it can provide an avenue to expand into, but it should be done in consultation with your heart. Your mama wisdom. You know your child, your family, the situation, and you have within a strong mothers instinct. Developing that connection to your self, to your instincts, to your heart voice and to your own Inner or high wisdom is a huge gift to a mother.

I was so blessed to have other wise mothers ahead of me on the journey reminding me to follow my heart, to make decisions from my heart at key points on the journey, reinforcing my belief in my own instincts. Your heart is the way you hear yourself, and your higher or inner self. It is also where you connect and parent from, it is how you connect with your child. Combined and aligned your heart provides the connection between you and your child and you and your Inner or higher self. My heart has never led me astray (when i truly follow it which sometimes is not easy and often requires growth :)).

How do you hear your heart voice? A lot of it is about placing conscious awareness on tuning into that voice. If you start to actually just tune into your thoughts in the present moment more you will start to be more aware of your different voices in your head which is helpful. Your heart voice is very rarely a yeller. It is a quiet, calmer voice , but with strength. It will FEEL right in your body. With just a bit of conscious awareness you will feel it in a part of the body. A great exercise to start with so you can learn to recognise the different sensations is to explore what a yes and a no feels like in your body.

Pick a statement that is an absolutely ‘yes’ to you then turn it into a question. Close your eyes and ask yourself the question, and feel the yes in your body. Where do you feel it in your body? What adjectives would you use to describe it? Does it have a colour? If you could touch it how would it feel? If it had sound with it, what would it be? Be aware with each of your senses.

Now pick a phrase that is absolute ‘no’ for you and turn it into a question. Again close your eyes, and imagine yourself going against your no answer and doing it anyway, how does it feel? Where do you feel it in your body? Again describe it.

You will probably notice the 2 sensations are quite different and your descriptions of them are quite different. The YES is the heart voice, or your instincts and intuition.

If you’d like to play a bit more with this then try checking in over the next week with things and asking yourself yes and no questions and Feeling the answer. You can also start to expand this idea as you think about current challenges you’re facing and possible solutions, which ones feel like a yes, which feel like a no? Or again you can use it for general guidance , Is there something you should be doing more with your child, less with your child etc – again you will feel it in your body as you think about it.

The heart voice is not always an easy voice to hear, especially if it is a highly charged issue for you, as there will be alot of other voices and conditioning vying for dominance in your thought processes. So start with some easier things if this new to you. Your heart voice won’t yell and it won’t you use language like you must, must not, should, should not, have to. It will not rant or tell you, you are not good enough in anyway. It will not be a tirade, it is more similar in analogy to that quiet older wise woman who will state the truth with strength and conviction, a knowing but in simplicity and without accusation and then sits and waits for you to make a choice.

When i sat down to write this piece. A good friend and writer asked me “What is your intention for this writing”. i answered, “To encourage and inspired mothers, around their confidence in themselves, their hearts, their instincts”. Then we sat for a moment, contemplating that, and then i added in writing on the page in front of me at the kitchen table – “What is something i wish i had heard?” What had i wish i read early on in the journey? – My answer –

Trust in yourself, in your instincts, in your knowing. You DO know. Inside you now, is the mother you want to be, she is within you and if you listen you will hear her.



PS: In case you missed it on the home page i have some new free goodies on offer! No strings attached 🙂 x


What is “attachment parenting” and working with an open energy.

Hey there!

Today’s video is titled What is “attachment parenting” and working with an open energy.

So in today’s tree house video I felt inspired to talk about what attachment parenting is really at it’s core and how coming back to the basic’s can really support us in our parenting. It’s really easy to get so caught up in trying to implement all the tenants or strategies of attachment parenting like co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, baby wearing etc, that we can loose sight of what is at the base or the foundation of the philosophies we are interested in implementing.

It can also be hard to juggle all the intellectual processes and guidelines to practicing attachment parenting, connection parenting, positive discipline, natural parenting, natural learning and all the other myriad of concepts we reasonate with amongst the busy fast pace of a day with our children. So i introduce to the concept of open and closed energy and how taking it back to the basic fundamental level and being aware of this concept can make it easier on our brains :).

So sit back for 10mins with a cuppa and check out todays video 🙂

Enjoy! and much love to you!


I’d love to know what you think – Did this resonate with you? Would you like to hear more about open and closed energy? and what do you find some of the challenges and rewards are with practicing attachment/ connection parenting?

Leave a comment below 🙂

PS: In case you missed it on the home page i have some new free goodies on offer! No strings attached 🙂 x